


Just A Slight Change Of Plans

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Denial, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:27:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus contemplates the effects his feelings for Sirius will have on the plans that have now been set in motion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Slight Change Of Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

It went as planned...

And I hate it! Just as I hated lying to Dumbledore all those years, just as I hated lying about the wolf within my soul to the only real friends I've ever had ...just as I hate lying to him each night when he awakens tangled in the sweat drenched sheets screaming for forgiveness when he should be demanding retribution for the evils of those who've sinned against him.

I held Harry back, refusing to let him save the one person over the age of twenty that he had ever loved and felt loved by in return. I listened to him scream knowing he thought my strangled voice and obvious despair was the result of watching my only friend fall behind the veil of unknown souls.

In truth, the heartbreaking pain came from lying to a boy I'd loved from the moment of his birth, a boy who'd suffered loss, abuse and now loss again. Loss that would soon escalate to perceived abandonment. Abandonment by an elderly mentor who until recently could do no wrong in Harry's now vacant emerald eyes. Eyes that reflect not the death of life, but the desire to live...a horrible sight to see in one who's not yet known the passing of sixteen years on earth.

It went as planned...

The illusion of Sirius' death is complete...all the anger is necessary; or so I've let myself be told.

I walked away that night knowing that I had to...I smiled at him from the platform hoping that someday we would be able to tell him the truth...hoping against all certainty that he would not hate us for what we'd done.

It went as planned...

I left the train station and apperated to a remote lodge in Switzerland where Sirius sat waiting on the sunlit veranda...and in that moment I was afraid that I could lie no more. True, my pain and tears were mostly a result of hurting and lying to James and Lily's child, but they also drew a growing strength from the real death I kept seeing in my mind...a death that seared my soul.

I could lose him again...Sirius could die. Not an Azkaban death of departure from my sight and sense but an eternal death...a death from which he would never return...a death to which he would go never knowing that I loved him...then a life like death I would live, knowing that I would forever be alone.

Yes, it went as planned...the painful monstrous plans always do.

Like clockwork the small muffled sounds begin at 11:45, the time that James breathed his last breath...ten minutes later they turn into screams just as Lily's screams had turned to death.

A fortnight had passed in this manner. Each night by the stroke of twelve I was sitting at Sirius's side, his tangled tresses cascading over my shoulder as his lips moved soundlessly against my neck, his body trembling with the tears that in sunlit hours refused to fall. Every night I hold his thin shaking frame tight within my arms, running my fingers gently over the curve of his head and down the length of his still too prominent spine.

Every night I feel guilty for the enjoyment I take from having the body of a tortured soul pressed against my own. Of course I do not take pleasure in his pain, only in his nearness. Just as during school I had welcomed the nightmares **I** suffered...welcomed them freely, so long as their existence meant welcoming Sirius into my bed. Welcoming the comfort of strong arms and sweet breath...I felt guilty then and I feel guilty now.

I knew as I sat in my comfortable lonely room that this night would be the last that I would lie to him...would hold him. I did not bother with my normal ritual of changing to pajamas and slipping between the sheets to read until the count down to 11:45 began. Tonight I stood at the window fully clothed, watching as the waning moon made its slow assent into the velvety blackness that loomed before me.

What I would choose to give up this night remained a mystery. Would it be the comfortable friendship I'd treasured for over twenty years? The easy way we talked of everything and nothing. Would it be the fiercely battled games of wizard chess that kept us sitting across from one another for hours on end speaking not a word...none were ever needed. Would I be giving up my moonlight mate...would Padfoot be lost to me? Was I really willing to take the chance of giving up everything we'd so easily reclaimed over the last two years?

Was it not better to simply bask in the love of his friendship?

Perhaps that was why I remained dressed in gray corduroys and a lightweight burgundy sweater. Perhaps if I didn't feel the warmth of his flesh pressed against my own, I could remain content with the warmth he lit within my soul.

For the last two years Sirius had been adamant that we should not be separated any longer than necessary. So I escaped to the tropics with him after his flight from Hogwarts, and I returned to Scotland to help watch over Harry as soon as the Tri-Wizard Tournament was discovered to be challenging more than three champions. I welcomed him to my home when the darkest news in years began to spread across the disbelieving ears of the wizarding world. I was his only invited housemate for the months that Grimmauld Place was occupied. I shared his tears and tirades as his protection turned into prison and his mother's voice took the place of shrouded black demons...she had already stolen his childhood, now his determination and dignity were only days away from being her final conquest.

We knew we had to free him from that house of horrors. We knew the consequences of our choice in pawns to make the 'game' feel like reality. Harry had to suffer so that Sirius could live. And if the plan continued on its present course than Harry's suffering would save us all.

In the grand scheme of things my heart's desire and the choice I made this night would not appear to matter to anyone but me and the wolf, who for twelve long years was my only companion. But in reality my choice had the power to ruin everything that until this night had gone perfectly. Sirius had chosen me to live with him in this remote region, to be his only contact with the outside world. I am his only friend, the only one he fully trusts...trusts with his life...a life he's never been allowed to live.

Do I really have the right to chance ruining our friendship by refusing to comfort him when his needs me most? Or by revealing my inner- most needs and desires?

I watch him during the day, the simple act of going outside and gazing at the evening sky that mirrors his eyes giving him greater pleasure than hexing Snape...well maybe. It isn't fair that a freedom I take for granted even as a dark creature, the freedom to look upon the beauty of nature, should be an overwhelming source of joy for him. He's only just been granted this small amount of freedom; do I really have the right to place him in a new form of prison. A prison of loneliness, a prison whose bars are forged by repulsion for a person he'd once loved as a brother...a person who made the mistake of loving him as so much more.

My inner tempest is suddenly calmed as I hear the whimpering sounds I'd been trying to ignore escalate into full- fledged screams. I act on the combination of impulse, adrenaline and love. Of course I will go to him, how could I not?

Moments later he is wrapped within my arms, clinging to me as if I were the only thing keeping him afloat in a world where he could drown just as easily in past or present.

For the hellish life he's lived Sirius Black is remarkably sane. I am the only one who will ever see him in this state...the only one who will ever know that what he fears most is his own mind and the memories that surface from the depths of his heart.

"Remy, oh god Remy I'm so cold...so cold," the raven -haired rebel of youth gasps in a haunted whisper as his head lays cradled against my shoulder. "I'm so sorry you have to see me like this, I'm sorry...sorry I'm so fucking pathetic that I can't even sleep through the night...sorry you can't even sleep through one night with out having to take care of your fucked up friend"

"Stop it Paddy,"I finally growl more from heartache than frustration. It's the same every night. The same current of self loathing threatening to carry my soul mate away to a sea of despair in which he'd gladly drown. "Please stop, you know it's gotten better since we figured out the timing of your nightmares. It's only been two weeks...you need to give yourself time Paddy; time to deal with the guilt of what we had to do to Harry. James and Lil will understand...Harry will understand...he will Paddy; he'll understand," I promise softly, not certain if I'm trying to convince myself or the slender man who already lies on the verge of sleep; safe within my arms.

Gently I lower Siri's bare torso to the mattress, quickly covering his belly, chest and shoulders from my lecherous view.

Refusing to linger in silent longing I move to leave, only to be pulled back by a fist whose fingers hold tightly to the soft fabric of my jumper.

"How can you be so selfless," he hisses into the darkness that surrounds us, but my lupine eyes see the confusion that clouds his tear-filled sapphire spheres. "You didn't even bother changing clothes...you knew you'd just have to get up and face this cold dismal shell of a man. Moony, why do you even stay here with me?" He questioned in all sincerity. Then quickly he released his grip on the threadbare cloth; smoothing it as though it were the finest silk.

"How can you ask me that Siri?" I answered; my amazement of his question showing full in the heavy tone of my quiet baritone voice. A voice that was deepening against my will with the huskiness beckoned only by the arousal this man raised within my gut and groin. "You, who quieted the cries of an eleven year old when you didn't even know the reason for his screams, and later the teenager whose darker side you knew first hand and never let deter you from being the only warmth in the cold dark nights of a waxing moon." My words softly fell upon his now relaxed form. So relaxed did he appear to be that I dared to add to my nightly reminder of his kindness and comfort.

" **You** never left Paddy, why would I not want to stay for you,"I casually asked while gently brushing stray strands of hair from across his still smooth brow.

"Oh God Remy, I'm sorry," he suddenly began to sputter reaching up to grasp my wrist,"how fucking thoughtless of me. You never kicked me out when I came over to help chase off the nightmares; we just fell asleep and here **every night** you have to go back across a cold hall to a cold bed and try to fall asleep.

"Will you stay Re? Please," he invited innocently, not knowing how much he tempted my resolve of lying to him no more. "Come on stay, it'll be just like old times eh? Come on, slide out of those clothes and hop in...bed's nice and warm," he promised, patting the pillow beside him with an anxious grin. But as he reached to push up my sweater I firmly grasped his wrist twisting it away from the skin his fingers lightly grazed.

"Siri I can't do this," I apologized, my voice constricted with fear and regret, as I gently placed his hand across his blanket covered abdomen, trying to ignore the pain and confusion that reflected in moistening storm tossed eyes. "I can't lie to you or to myself...not like this...not any more."

"What do mean lie? Re I thought we were still close...I thought you wanted to be here...like old times," he muttered trying to piece together my reassurances of friendship and how they fit with my sudden reluctance to simply share a bed...a very large bed.

"I owe you an explanation Siri," I conceded, deciding that the truth would indeed come out this night, but also that if I were going to be honest with him, I would also be honest with my self and my desire to be with him.

So against my better judgment I swung my legs upon the mattress to stretch parallel with Siris' long muscular limbs, while leaning on my left elbow as I balanced on my side, keeping several inches of empty space between us.

"Sirius, I...I can't sleep in your bed," I began, willing my voice to stop shaking as if I were about to propose, instead of explain why I needed to flee before I gave into temptation and curled around the unsuspecting man I'd loved from the age of seventeen.

"Why not?" Sirius broke in just as I thought I'd found my strength to continue.

"Because I...well," I stammered before realizing that if a chance did exist for us it wouldn't be well received presented like a stuttering schoolboy. So gently I moved my hand to touch the tip of my right index finger to the edge of Sirius' shoulder and slowly traced the line of his collarbone as I spoke in a slightly sultry voice that I didn't even recognize as my own.

"I can't stay Paddy because I don't want to just sleep in your bed," I began then paused to watch the widening of his eyes as my soft smooth finger pad stroked the line of his responsive flesh...watched as it trailed down from throat to sternum finally pausing to circle within the swirls of soft ebony hair that surround his navel before dipping teasingly inside its shallow indention. "I want to **sleep** with you Siri. I love you and I have for a very long time. This isn't a plea for a one night stand or an occasional fuck buddy...and I understand if you're not interested and I'll never mention it again but I couldn't lie to you any longer...can't hold you in my arms every night and pretend that I don't love you...that I don't want to make love to you...that I don't crave the incredible closeness of having you make love to me. I will always be here for you and I hope that you still want me as a frie..."

My final word was blessedly silenced by the sweet worry bitten lips I'd longed to feel pressed against my own for far too many years. And in this first joining of mouths there was no pretense of propriety or restraint. This was a kiss that deepened instantly, that was guided by instinct and love. Lips hesitated not at all to press tightly together even as mouths opened, granting entrance to impatiently waiting tongues. Two velvet ribbons of muscle that seemed to glide together in slow motion; like two lone dancers pressed as one, turning slow tight circles even as the space around them is filled with frantic movement. Two twin lengths that twined together and tasted the others sweetness, reverently reaching to find every pleasure point and nerve ending within the boundaries of our hot moist mouths. Mouths that echoed with moans of pleasure that reverberated in hearts and fed our souls.

Eyes that had long been blind to each others face closed of their own accord as our hands discovered places our heated hormones had long begged our hearts to follow. Gasping for breath our greedy mouths reluctantly parted, settling for any bit of flesh that might be tasted and teased by eager tongues and kiss- swollen lips. Ear lobes, jaws, chins and noses where all nuzzled and nipped as canine caresses were unabashedly shared with the one and only mate to whom we could each happily belong forever.

There was no question of commitments or vows. No thoughts of 'was this right'...it was...it always had been. But sometimes only the threat of death can reveal the impossible as the obvious.

Now as I lay within my soul-mates tight embrace, his large warm hands moving swiftly over the heated flesh of my lithely muscled back, I wonder how long I can fight the urges of the wolf. Urges that are quickly turning to demands as my body presses firmly down against his sheet shrouded skin, demands I have no desire to deny as my fingers tangle in the silky obsidian strands that frame the beautiful face. A loving face whose cheek and jaw my hands now move to tenderly trace. At last our eyes meet and in them we the see the light of love and the brightly burning flame of desires long kept hidden.

A low growl that I did not realize had come from my own slender throat was all Sirius needed to tell him what was desired of the wolf's new mate. Gently he reached up to run thick callused fingers through my long tawny hair, a small peaceful smile softening his features as he happily relaxed into the mattress, offering himself for whatever pleasure the wolf and I chose to give and to take. Not subservient in his offering...no not Sirius...merely content to be the focus of love bestowed in full instead of the defenseless prey of those who still would hunt him.

With no thought to holding back Moony's demands I gave my self over to the whims of every fantasy I'd ever had that featured the shining star whose face and eyes glowed with desire beneath me.

Moving my legs to sit astride the narrow hips of my boyhood friend, I slowly drew back the bedclothes until the stark white sheet lay like virgin snow atop the spot where soft coal black fur began to blend with a courser springy bed of tangled curls. Only for the moment did the light cover of snowy linen blanket the lengthening heated flesh that soon would peak above the thin white blinder that was the only thing keeping me from blatantly staring at Sirius's thick gorgeous cock.

Sensing my desire and my quickly fleeting resolve the astute animagus deftly reached to push the soft woolen fabric up the length of my torso pulling my shoulders toward him to ease his reach in stripping the sweater off my arms. Then slowly he trickled short dull nails down my chest stopping only briefly to tease the taut pebbled flesh of my nipples, first barely grazing the pert flesh with circling thumb pads then suddenly twisting and pinching hard, drawing a long low moan from my throat even as I thrust down against his hips, my balls pressing firmly against his steel hard shaft.

Now feeling the same urgency as his mate Sirius swiftly moved to fight with button and zip, eager to feast eyes and fingers upon the stretched satin length that pressed painfully against the fabric confines that held it tight. Finally trousers and pants were pushed down the distance of my long lean legs and at last my hard throbbing cock wept with joy as my mate softly teased his finger across the pulsing slit that offered pearls of clear pre-cum as gifts to the softly moaning man who'd freed us from long years of loneliness.

Following his instincts the diamond -eyed wizard simply brought the dampened digit to his lips, sucking enticingly on the finger- tip that had teased me only moments before. The sight of our mate's heavy lust weighted eyes slowly closing as he fed upon the juice of our flesh was the wolf's final undoing.

Without warning Sirius found his forearms pinned to the mattress as my mouth devoured his flesh with bruising force. First lips then tongue were suckled and nipped as the long hard body of my mate writhed and bucked below me, finally freeing his lower limbs of the sheet that lay between our now grinding erections.

"Oh god Re, please love, oh god please...suck me off, fuck me... anything! Re, please I need you."

Ignoring his pleas I continued to work my way down the pale sweat dampened flesh of my lover's thin but recovering frame, intentionally skipping the column of his long tempting throat. Instead I trailed kisses and bites across his broad perfect chest relishing in the feel of firm flesh under my lips and his fiery hot cock quivering against my belly. Continuing down the length of his bite- reddened body I latched onto one pale perfect bud with sharp white teeth even as I released his arms, which stayed obediently still, fingers curling tightly under the headboard the only signal of his fading fight against climax.

Taking pity on my lover's obviously painful state I released the nipple my tongue had flicked to pale white numbness, and quickly trailed love bites the remaining length from nipples to navel. Then gently I dipped the tip of my long agile tongue within the shallow indention, pausing only for a moment to draw renewed growls and obscenities from my mate's lush lips as I tongue fucked the narrow oval crevice that I mentally noted as a place to return to frequently...a place the wolf loved to nuzzle and scent...a place that drove my mate delirious with desire.

Inching my way slowly along the line of downy hair I heard my own breath drawn in with a sharp hiss as my chin bumped the dripping cock I longed to take deep within my mouth and throat. Slowly, slowly I told myself trying to ignore Sirius urging to 'do it **now** '.

"Sit up," I whispered nudging my mate's hips toward the head of the bed.

"Re," Siri pleaded even as he did as he was asked.

"Trust me love," I promised in a soft soothing tone," you'll want to see this."

Pushing two pillows between the small of his back and the carved wooden headboard I angled Siri's hips in just the right way to save my neck and allow him a visual display that promised to set fire to his balls.

Nestling to his side with my shoulder angled toward his thigh I looked up into the lust- glazed eyes of a man for whom I'd sacrifice my life, and silently prayed to a god in whom I believed without question, to make me the best partner possible for this wonderful man whose only wish was for freedom and love.

When Siri met my gaze I slowly moistened my lips with the tip of my pale teasing tongue, then mouthed the three words I would repeat over and over as many times as he would hear them.

"I love you"

Then my lips were tasting the soft curving head of his hard heated length and suddenly the reality of what I was doing drew a desperate groan from deep within me and in turn from the soundlessly moving lips of my mate. Slowly I drew the damp flesh within my mouth, my tongue lapping at the head while my teeth tugged gently on the ledge that lead to the stretched satin shaft. Instantly the scent of sex and damp downy hair overwhelmed the wolf's senses and I found my self with Siri's cock filling my mouth and fucking my throat as I fought to bury my nose deeper in the wonderful sweet pillow of ebony curls that screamed of my mate's scent, Siri's scent, a scent that would forever be known to me as love...as home.

Drawing slowly up I felt the velvet of my lips switch to satin lining as my checks hollowed, drawing the seed from deep within my mate closer and closer to the very edge of control. Over and over I suckled and bit, lapped and kissed, each time raising my eyes to meet my mate's as I drew my lips to the very tip, tonguing the pulsing weeping slit, and stroking that oh so sensitive vein as the taste of salty satisfaction drew ever closer.

'Oh god he's incredible,' my brain screamed as I looked into his eyes, seeing the love and disbelief that this could possibly be happening to him. But it was and one last time I took him within the wet waiting cavern of my mouth and throat. He filled me perfectly, the thick shaft pressing on my tongue, tickling my palette. But just as I lowered my fingers to brush softly over his balls, I realized what I was doing to this man I loved so very much. A man who'd been held captive in both prison and palace...I had taken complete control...with my desire to please I'd made him yet again a prisoner. Lay down! Sit up! Watch this! And although an undeniable look of bliss was written plain across his face, it was still not fair...this is a partnership...be it canine or human. Moony and Padfoot would follow their own instincts during the moon but for now I knew what was right. So this time as my mouth hugged his cock tight within its warm wet embrace I pulled to the tip and gently released him with a soft tender kiss. At the sound of his whimpering I looked up through tawny fringe, placed another gentle kiss and begged him for what I truly wanted...needed.

"Fuck me...please"

"Oh god Re I won't last," he gasped, "you've got me too close love. God Remy, finish me off."

"What ever you wish love..." I agreed, starting to lower my lips to their unfinished task when Sirius unexpectedly made his wish perfectly clear.

The next thing I knew I was laying half on my side nuzzling Sirius's balls while Sirius was sucking my own throbbing cock harder and deeper that I had ever been taken. I was almost at the edge of climax when it occurred to me that my mate's quivering length should also be similarly situated between my own equally talented tongue and teeth. This perfectly curled position of equality was one I had never experienced and it seemed right that only with Sirius could I truly find balance...only with Padfoot could the wolf find an equal.

Knowing how very close my mate was to having his balls brought to a tingling, torturous explosion of seed I paused for a moment to watch my mate's long lush tongue stroking my cock, watched as saliva shimmered in the starlight that speckled our newly baptized bed with splashes of light. Watched in awe as my heavy dripping cock disappeared within the magical mouth that I realized a bit to late that I was fucking with more than just a bit of force. Regaining a smidgeon of control I slowed the pace of my hips, but Sirius instantly released me, his barking voice breaking the trance I'd fallen into.

"Don't stop Re, fuck me hard...I need you...god I need this...suck me love, god swallow me whole," he pleaded before taking me full within his waiting mouth.

Instantly my hips found their rhythm, Siri's hot throbbing flesh found the back of my throat and both of us found release in the others warm waiting mouth. But instead of spending the next few moment coming down from the euphoria of pulse pounding completion by leisurely cleansing the objects of our ministrations, I instead found myself crushed within Siri's tight embrace, our mouths sucking mindlessly on tongues and lips alike...our seed swirling together like a love potion that was far more magical than anything sold in Diagon Alley.

After endless moments of laying within my mates embrace, the warmth was suddenly gone and Siri's large masculine paws were urging me onto my stomach, then pulling gently back on my hips until I was positioned on knees and elbows, my smooth taut arse decadently displayed for my mate's viewing enjoyment, but I knew Sirius far better than to think that **viewing** was all he had in mind.

Kneeling between my legs Sirius gently began a firm massage across the small of my back, his hands sliding slowly over my sex moistened flesh. First sliding up the length of my spine, then trailing around the sides of my chest, his large warm paws left a standing ovation of goose-bumps in their wake, leaving my body quivering for more of his exquisite touch.

Silently Sirius lowered his chest and belly along the length of my spine, his hips pressing against my arse, his already hardened length tipped down to allow the dripping head to tease against my balls and brush against my waiting erection.

His touch was like nothing I had ever believed was possible. It was sheer bliss to feel the fingers of one loving hand twisting and teasing taut buds as the other followed the line of my firm flat belly until at last strong thick fingers wrapped around my satin length falling easily in time with the agonizingly slow thrusts of his patiently pulsing hips.

Moans and gasping breaths were all I could mange to achieve when my mates lips where finally lowered to my nape, his gentle kisses, licks and nips fanning the fire in my groin to a painfully full length of hardened heat.

Somewhere in the stream of stammered pleas and promises I heard myself begging for his cock, begging for fingers to stretch and stroke, begging for him to fuck me deep and slow...begging to be fucked, oh god yes, fucked...

"Fuck me Siri, oh fuck me please," I moaned balling the sheet in my long clenching fingers as my head rolled back against the rain of gentle bites that were marking my shoulders and neck.

"Oh, that **is** what you said Professor," my mates deep teasing voice whispered against my ear, his warm breath causing the wolf to nuzzle against his mouth, canine actions I never allowed to show now ruling my mind and body...and I loved it...thrived on it...lived for it... the sound of his voice...the feel of his lips...oh god mark...claim...mate...

"Yes love, your mate. I always have been," the ebony haired wizard whispered softly, thrilled beyond words to see me finally giving into the passionate side of the wolf, the side that only Padfoot saw and loved,"but I had no idea your lips could form those words love. Fuck you? Is that what you want?" he teased tracing his tongue along the whirls of my lupine sensitive ears. I answered with a whimper, his touch leaving me incapable of coherent speech.

Now very eager to obey my wishes Sirius pulled his torso away from my flesh the loss of contact drawing a growl from my lips as I felt his hands slip away from my cock and chest.

"Shhh, I love you," Sirius soothed from were he knelt behind me, his hands once again searing my flesh as they stroked slowly over the muscles of my thighs. "I love you."

No further words were spoken...no warning was given...nothing prepared me for the feeling of Siri's soft wet tongue sliding within my flesh. Swirling and stroking its way deeper and deeper along the tight velvet channel, teasing in and out, in and out. Lapping at the puckered flesh, swirling within the tight embrace, probing and pressing until finally the small unspoken pleasure point was found and flicked by a lover who was merely moving by instinct...moving in ways he had only dreamed.

Finally dreams and not nightmares ruled my mates mind.

Unable to still my body's desire to move with my lover's rhythm, I pressed steadily against him, trying to balance on one elbow as I brought my other hand to touch the throbbing flesh I'd pleasured on my own far too many times. But Sirius would have none of that at least not without his blessing. Then there was a sharp sensation of loss... his tongue was gone and I was laying on my back looking into wild lust lit eyes that until tonight had been dim and lifeless. Hovering close above me Sirius balanced himself on hip and locked left arm as his right hand dropped between my legs and two thick fingers found the spot his tongue had just filled.

A low wail drowned in my throat and pain turned to pleasure as his curving fingers found my prostate again and again, the satin tunnel stretching with each twisting stroke.

Unable to meet his gaze I squeezed my eyes tight but the wolf fought against me, his desire for Padfoot growing stronger with each passing moment.

"Oh god angel touch your self," Sirius pleaded, my eyes flying open in disbelief of his request, "please Re, touch yourself, I wanna watch you come."

With great hesitation I raised my slender fingers to wrap around my throbbing cock, and instantly lost all inhibitions as Sirius moaned at the sight of me pumping the weeping rampant flesh in perfect sync with his thrusting fingers.

Our eyes were now locked Amber and Sapphire pleading with the other to remain open until the last possible point. I felt the wolf rising within me...felt my flesh throbbing in my hand and Sirius fingers fucking me...felt a growl rising in my soul.

"Let him loose Re," Sirius barked, his fingers, now three, moving frantically within me,"the hell with the moon I want that bastard to howl for the stars!"

And with his words I did just that, howled with pleasure as the wolf's will broke free, my balls burning with pleasure as warm wet semen surged in seemingly endless streams across my hand and belly.

Never once did my eyes leave Siri's, even as tears of joy streamed down his face.

"My god you're beautiful...so fucking beautiful." He cried, the tears of his heart constricting his chest and throat.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," I assured him as he dipped his tongue to lap at the sticky liquid that pooled around the tawny fur that lightly marked my chest and belly.

After a few minutes of allowing him to trace hearts and paw prints on my chest I lowered my hand to his still hard cock stroking him slowly as my thumb circled the slippery head. "It's a shame to allow a wonderful job of preparation go to waste" I encouraged, moving my hand to his hip, urging him to climb between my wide spread legs. "I think I'd like very much to have you make love to me...slow and deep Siri...slow and deep."

And so he did, sliding carefully inside me, lowering his body to mine as we moved as one, rocking gently for long perfect moments. Over and over our mouths gently met, tongues tracing and teeth lightly tugging.

Pulling back to look deep with in my eyes Sirius merely nodded, lips moving without sound. "Now, please."

"Yes now," I replied with a nod, my surprisingly steady hands lowering his head to mine as my teeth sank deep with in the sweet flesh of his long unmarred throat. Until he found his release we stayed that way. His flesh deep within me, my teeth deep within his flesh, our souls bound one within the other, never to be parted.

Hours later as I watched the moonlight move across my mates face, now calm and peaceful even in sleep, I realized that in all these years we'd never really been apart and we never would be. I would never lose him to death for my soul would go with him, and in me he would never cease to live.


End file.
